When Self-Care Stops Feeling Like Care

I recently broke up with my massage therapist.

Not because she wasn’t good at her craft, she gave amazing massages. We worked together for over five years. She really knew my body, my pain points, and the sticky spots that needed extra TLC every month.

Massage has been a cornerstone of my self-care for as long as I could afford it. And by afford, I mean I prioritized it over eating out, shopping, or going to bars when I was a broke 20-something scraping by in Boston after my first post-university job.

It’s been that important to me—for my body, my mind, and my emotional well-being.

When Boundaries Get Crossed (Even in Self-Care)

But for the past two years, she rescheduled or canceled almost half of my appointments. And often last-minute, like within 24 hours.

Each cancellation hit hard.

This was my time—my sacred ritual of care. The one space where I could sit back and let someone else take care of me. The constant disruptions made me feel like my time—and frankly, my well-being—weren’t a priority.

It made me feel like I wasn’t being cared for in the way I needed.

The Uncomfortable Truth

It took me a waaay too long to accept what my gut had been trying to tell me: I needed to choose myself.

Even though it was uncomfortable.

Even though it meant having a hard conversation.

Even though it meant paying (a lot) more for a new therapist who values my time.

Growth often doesn’t feel like sunshine and rainbows.

It feels like tension. Discomfort. Awkward, sweaty-palmed, stuttery conversations. Rehearsing for weeks how to break the news without breaking their heart (even though she broke mine first).

Radical Self-Love Looks Like This…

Choosing yourself, especially when it’s hard, is a radical act of self-love. The truth is: we can’t rely on others to prioritize our self-care. We have to be the ones to stand up for it. It’s our responsibility, our duty to ourselves, to fill our cup and make changes when others stand in the way of that happening.

So today I want to ask you:

• Where might you be sacrificing your well-being to make someone else comfortable?
• Where might you be putting your growth, your healing, your joy in someone else’s hands—hoping they’ll treat it with the care it deserves—even though they’ve already shown you that they won’t?
• Where do you need to make a change… to finally choose yourself?

Confidence Is Born In The Fire

Uncomfortable truths are still truths. They’re the doorways to a life where you know, without a doubt, that you have your own back. You’ve proven it to yourself.

You are worth that choice. Every damn time. Even when it scares the shit out of you…especially when it scares the shit out of you.

Because doing the things that terrify you—the messy, gut-twisting, sweaty-palmed things—and coming out the other side is where real confidence is born.

And you, my friend, are ready for it!

Step into the fire: Book your boudoir photoshoot today!